Do you feel that you have lost the passion within your partner? Do you think it is an irreversible situation? Nothing is further from reality! It is very common for this to happen, especially when it comes to a relationship that has been living together for a long time.
In these cases, as in many others, Tantra offers us a simple explanation and gives us the reasons why distance can help us recover passion and that marvelous illusion that sexual arousal brings to our lives.
Tantra and the secret to recover passion
To start with this exciting topic, we have to ask ourselves, why do we lose passion with our stable partner?
The reality is that there is no single answer because the causes can be practically infinite, but Tantra offers us a very simple answer that has to do with the energy that flows when we live with someone for a long time.
One of the invisible laws that govern long-term relationships has to do with distance. This law says that the growth of passion is inversely proportional to the amount of time lovers spend together. That is, the longer you are with your partner, the less sexual attraction between you will be.
What have you surprised? We are convinced that it is, since there is a tendency to think that the longer you are with someone, the greater the connection. This is and is not. Let’s see why.
Coexistence and loss of passion in the couple
As a couple becomes comfortable, the time they spend together increases, as does their connection. They begin to sleep in the same bed with increasing frequency, until one day they decide it is time to live together.
If you add to this that there are couples who also share their workplace or that over time the children arrive and begin to become the priority, then we have the perfect storm.
And at this point we reach the moment when spending a lot of time together becomes something natural and even a necessity, but the passion goes into decline and is irremediably diluted.
Did you know that for Tantra, the mere fact of sleeping together, even after having a passionate sexual relationship, becomes one of the greatest enemies of passion?
Tantra teaches us that the couple’s energies intermingle during sleep. The result? The polarity vanishes because the sexual essence of each becomes more similar to each other. And, although it can cause a feeling of closeness and comfort, without polarity the sexual attraction is diluted.
And it is that most people believe that the closer they are, the more love there is between them. However, this fusion is the worst omen for sex. The reality is that eroticism is based on distance, this means that the shorter the distance between lovers, the less sexual arousal.
This is one of the most common contradictions that occur in couple relationships. We seek the security that living with that person with whom we fall in love with implies, but over time we lose our passion.
Interestingly, as trust, understanding, intimacy and love increase, passion and sexual attraction are undoubtedly weakened.
Regaining passion: when distance comes into play
Although it may seem the opposite, in the game of passion, the sexual attraction in the couple is recovered when the much-needed tantric distance can be introduced. However, we are aware that it is not a simple process.
Too little distance will not be helpful, and too much distance can create disaffection. Thus, each couple has to find their perfect midpoint, the one that allows them not only to maintain the relationship but also to increase sexual desire. Finding the ideal distance will be what allows the tantric energy to flow.
The million-dollar question then is: how to introduce the ideal distance in a relationship whose sexuality has been damaged?
The three types of distance
There are three types of distance, namely:
● Physical: it is the most obvious. Scheduling separate vacations is a great way to recapture the passion. However, the effect does not usually last in the long term, and then more radical changes will be necessary. The ideal plan would be to live in different houses, but we are aware that this is not easy, especially if there are children. In this case, sleeping in different rooms can help perfectly.
● Emotional: Can be very effective. How to achieve an emotional distance? There are many ways to detach from a person, but to give an example (not suitable for those who bet on closed relationships) having an affair with a third party can work miracles. We know that it is not a solution for any couple, since it is a delicate distance that can ultimately result in a separation or divorce.
● Mental: In our opinion, this is the most effective distance, although its effects are possibly less obvious. This is a very valuable subtle change in the event that the previous two distances are impossible. How to achieve a mental distance? Well, having a hobby or an occupation totally unrelated to our partner. Doing something that creates a certain mystery in the relationship helps a lot, especially if it is something by mutual agreement and without creating unfounded suspicions that could break mutual trust.
In short, sexual attraction is lost largely because we are sure of our partner, because we feel that they are «ours.» The mere fact of losing some control over the other and coming to think that he can be loved or love another person, will help to recover the lost passion.