Vanilla sex: is it the one you practice?

We are sure that you have heard about vanilla sex more than once and you have been wondering… and what exactly is that? No, it has nothing to do with ice cream or any other vanilla dessert used as a sexual fetish.

Throughout this article we are going to tell you everything you need to know about the sometimes misconceived vanilla sex.

Will you join us and at the end of the reading tell us whether or not it is the type of sexuality that you practice?

What is vanilla sex?

The first thing you have to know is that this term, with clear gastronomic references, is not something that has emerged recently. On the contrary, it was coined in the 80s and has been reborn due to the sexual practices of Bondage,

Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM). Practices that in turn gain momentum from the success of the saga and subsequent film: “Fifty Shades of Gray.”

Those who talk about vanilla sex turn to gastronomy to find in it what, for some, is the perfect description. As it is a term that arises as opposed to sadomasochism, it is usually considered by those who perform these more extreme practices, as something boring. But… Why does it have to be?

A well-known BDSM practitioner has explained it by taking an ice cream parlor as an example. He imagines someone inviting you to ice cream, you have dozens of spectacular flavors to choose from, and after much thought, you finally go for a vanilla one. That is, the usual taste, the one that does not involve changes, fantasies, surprise or any risk.

Are you one of those? Do you end up always choosing the same “flavor” in bed? So congratulations, you have vanilla sex!

Right now you are wondering with a face of astonishment why we congratulate you if this may not appear to be fun. It’s that vanilla sex has absolutely nothing wrong with it. Every couple is a world. If traditional sex makes you happy and you’re happy with it, you don’t have to feel the need to look for something else.

Another simpler way to define vanilla sex is to say that it is anything that does not include sadomasochistic or fetishistic practices. However, this definition is too flat and radical since sexuality is not only the act itself but also includes places to practice it, erotic lingerie or costumes, sex toys or fantasies of the most diverse types.

Finally, do you know that there is also the concept of “vanilla partner”? It refers to one of the members of the couple who has no interest in discovering new sexual practices and does not give the other room to experience different ways beyond vanilla sex.

What is normal in sex?

If we go to the standard answer, we could say that “normal sex” is that which takes place within a straight couple, with the typical preliminaries that end in the doggy or missionary position. It may or may not include oral sex, hugs, kisses, and lots of “I love you.” In the end, it is usual that there is a good movie, pizza and beers.

It should be noted that if sex is practiced between homosexuals or trans people, it is called vanilla when it is done without penetration.

But … who is qualified to judge what is good or what is bad? We already tell you: nobody. If you are happy with the way you live your sexuality, go ahead! You have nothing to change.

In any case, normality in sex is that act that two people practice, by mutual agreement and enjoying it as much as possible.

Vanilla sex from the point of view of its defenders

Those who proudly belong to the “vanilla side” believe that when there is a strong and real sexual attraction, any gesture from their lover is more than enough to feel fully aroused.

They defend that the skin is the most exciting erotic lingerie and that they do not need any kind of fantasy or display with toys to feel strong emotions and tremendously intense pleasure.

At the same time, vanilla does not agree with anxiety or tension in sex. They believe in total surrender and trust as a way to enjoy it. Do not think that vanilla are all-forgiving saints, on the contrary, they accuse those who have harder sex that they lose the ability to get aroused and become dependent on increasingly intense and twisted stimuli.

In short, those who practice vanilla sex defend themselves tooth and nail from those who believe that their forms are devoid of fantasy and daring.

Now, after reading us, have you managed to define your way of living sexuality? With which “side” do you identify best?

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